22/11/04
From the desk of Pyssedas roving correspondant DGr

Because NSm hasn't yet gotten around to writing a review of his beer I have decided to do it for him. Unfortunately it is as much a review of the beer as of my hang-over yesterday but anyways... For the hang-over I blame Mr Honorable and Glen McGrath. Mr Honorable because he suggested that we go and have a beer and watch the cricket, Glen McGrath because he continued to score runs up until he got his 50 at which point we started having spirit shots with our beers. The rest of the night is probably best not described.

Suffice it to say that your faithful correspondant woke with a very heavy head the next day - and was feeling more than decidedly unwell when NSm entered my backyard with a couple of Hahn's under his arm. They were the remains of the 2 slabs that were almost consumed at his house the previous Sunday to give sufficient bottle space for his virgin brew.

Anyways to cut what is fast becoming a medium-sized story short, we ventured over to his fine house with half a slab of invalid stout,but sadly without a meat-tray.

The naming of the stout was to further perturb RLu and his fixation for hyper-sterile brewing environments, and NSm assures me that it did in fact contain a salmon. Along the way NSm had not only brewed without an airlock on his fermenter, but had also stuck his arm into the brew to stir it along a little. [I do not wish to contemplate which wild yeasts live on his elbow.] Other than that as far as i know it was a straight can of stout mix with no added grainy goodness.

In his less than sterile cupboard [but at least he is allowed to keep his beer in the house RLu!] this fine liquid has spent the last week. Finally on Saturday NSm could resist it no more and commenced drinking it - managing a couple of pints of this lovely uncarbonated mixture. He was kind enough to offer me a taste while my lovely wife [JKa] was washing his bottles - and while it was a little difficult to taste it amidst the maelstrom of invalid abbots - it was certainly not bad - and might even be nice. When it has actually completed secondary fermentation further tasting notes will follow

2/12/03
NSm - ah - the heady highs of a successful brew.  Proving once and for all that brewing methods are a scientific response to the bubonic plague, and yeasts the saviours of Western civilisation, plinths of the Rennaisance.  I appplied a rigorous disdain for sterile brewing methods throughout the brewing process, beginning with seasoning the fermenter in the elements for two weeks, then giving it a CUB approved good wash with dishwashing liquid, and an in use kitchen sponge which was well up for it.
I applied a strong presence of arm up to the elbow on every occaison that stirring or general businesss was required, taking care to thoroughly rinse hairy arm under tap between each application.
A used wine cork was set upon the holey thing on top of fermenter, and a nicely smeggy doonah, which had been an integral part of some hot lovin' had both legs wrapped tightly around the fermenter, and placed in the cupboard with the washing machine - at which point I sternly admonished the machine that overflowing during the fermentation period would seriously compromise the integrity of my potential stout.
The result - a smoky, licorice tinged, "it tastes like bullets" BCa cied (DGr wishes to keep the words treacle flavoured for himself - but will obviously be disappointed) quite savoury stour, which seeems to have no arm flavoured component at all present.
A resounding success - HUZZAHH we cry.
........and begin again
The adventure continues.

DGr - I am obviously disappointed - not only by the fact that my phrase has been used already but also by the fact that NSm's first solo brew is clearly superior to my own first brew!