DGr - Big Kahoona (ex), Deputy Head-Honcho (ex), Serial Offender
DG -Drawing members' consideration to a finer point.DG has been with the company since its moment of conception and has been involved with many of its most difficult and torturous moments. Trained by a flock of missionary seagulls in management techniques beyond the comprehension of most mortals, DG was recently voted "Most Likely to become a Supermodel" by the International Association of Chinstrap Penguins. Mumbling constantly about how he carries the bulk of the company workload and the complete lack of fairy floss at company functions DG is currently looking quite pleased with himself following the successful transfer of secretarial duties to all and sundry. Following an unsuccessful foray into the international chicken liver markets in late 2002, DG has refocussed his attentions on company matters. Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, Hailing from Yaks-Bum Illinois, and weighing in at 68 kilos, please welcome to the ring the Big Kahooonaaaah!
JCa - Big Kahoona, Deputy Head Honcho, Marketing Manager
MWh - Big Cheese, Special Rep to Hawaii, Company Special Envoy
An almost-nearly-founding member of the company, the Big Cheese first sprang spontaneously into existence via a little known sub-clause of the second law of thermodynamics. As flag-procurer-general for the Company, the Big Cheese has represented PyssedAs in many international countries, at the cost of only one diplomatic incident, and was recently named in the short list for the Nobel Peace Prize (until the spelling mistake was discovered). His appointment as Special Envoy to the Virgin Mary at Coogee is believed by some observers to be directly linked to her sudden disappearance.
KTa - Top Tofu
Indeed A founding member of the Company, Top Tofu was born whilst on holiday in Iceland. She has generally lived a life of pure abstraction, flitting in and out of decent society. Top Tofu splits her commitments between Pyssedas and the secret organisation [THIS PART DELETED] albeit with short stints in a convent in outer, inner Mongolia. The hats there are quite delicious. Neither poet nor painter, TT is known for playing the moment well and her attempts at skullduggery. She has always quite fancied pirates and is considering developing the company in this direction. Either that, or M-theory. Oh, and just quietly, TT loves flourishing things with grand statements from literature, for example: "Hold back the edges of your gowns Ladies, we are going through hell." Indeed.
JKa - Chef Duck
An early member of the Company, Chef Duck has been an active member for many years. Chef Duck embodies everything that is good in food and ducks (NB - this does not include eating ducks, even though eating ducks can be very good).While Chef Duck's achievements and strengths are too numerous to mention one weakness which should be noted is a very apparent failure in being able to play tennis.
Where is my tennis racquet?
PMi - Agent Wombat
Born under a Bullock Truck in the Northern Territory, Agent Wombat joined the group when he accidently dug one hole too far and ended up digging one into a slosh pit that company was meeting in.One word describes Agent Wombat, he loves Mud!!!
Nice clean mud, good for everything, Oh that Mud!!!!!
Agent Wombat only goes where he can see mud or where you turn something into mud.
Mud is all, Mud is pure!!!
CEv - Bertie Beetle (The Cheapest Showbag), 3rd Secretary to the Attache Case
TTi - Master of Uterus
JWh - Lord Muffin of All Puffins
Ficus - Drop Puffin Esq. Ficus - currently in a pot VTa - Virgil
RLu - Deputy Dog WateerDog Wateer (Deputy) holds a Masters Degree from http://theonlineuniversity.com and has held a number of senior positions in Bangladesh Gvoernment Agencies, including in the Ministry of Jute. He also once walked past a Deloitte office and saw a small but strange thing happen..
He has recently and suddenly found himself in the role of secretary and is rapidly mastering the qualities of procrastination and delegation.
BRy - Grand Eye Patch, Productivity Commissioner RBr - Mr Lack of Quantity
WBu - Why is it so?
JBa - Great Southern Grandstand
BCa - Vice-President of Not as Popular as Walter Matteau
PROVISIONAL MEMBERS
Pseudo Echo - Gee IdunnoPseudo Echo were Australia's first (widely noticed) attempt at a new wave band, at the time taking on pub (oz rock) type bands. They formed in Melbourne in 1982, starting out as a three piece, with a drum machine. Catching the eye of Molly Meldrum, they were the first unsigned band to appear on his music show, countdown.
EMI snapped them up and their first album had four hit singles. Their second album had 3 hit singles, but their release of the cover of "funky town" saw one of the most successful efforts of any Australian band, with the song charting at 6 US, 8 UK and #1 in Australia.
Pseudo Echo - Yet to officially accept any role within the company.
Billy Idol - Rare Chinese Puffin
Billy Idol has become something of a legend within the company, not the least because he has the honour of being the first person to defeat Anthony for a position. (He also defeated Billy Ray Cyrus, Gang of 9 and Barry is Birmingham 6.)
Billy has yet to be informed of his election due to a deal of difficulty of locating an address for him or his management.
It is somewhat ironic that both Billy Idol and Pseudo Echo (see above) have only been nominated twice, but have both been elected, while both Dr Hook and Waa Waa Nee have nominated three times unsuccessfully.
Mr Idol - voices concerns about kelp.
Puff the Magic Pastry - The Dread Puffin
Gruff the Haughty Flagon - Against the Dominant Paradigm
Kelp - Who is Jim??Kelp, as one might guess, is really an alias. Or is it? Little is known of his or her real identity, even amongst the company board, but bits of kelp are tolerated well enough. Kelp does have a soft spot for Macrocystis species, but if the truth be known, probably prefers, Postelsia palmaeformis. With extensive networks throughout, Kelp is currently being investigated with a view for delegating responsibility for shifting much of the company's productivity. Rumour has it that Kelp is part owner of a cafe somewhere in the Yukon with TT and that guy who plays Maxwell Shefield in "The Nanny".
Walter Matteau - Sticky Bean
RLu's Grandmother - Super Gran
EXPELLED MEMBERS
CEl - Dyke Balls
- position purged Meeting 5
- expelled further Meeting 6
LLa - Breakfast of Champions
- expelled Meeting 8
